Quote~

You did not bear the shame
You resisted
Sacrificing your life
For freedom, justice and honour

The German Resistance Memorial, Berlin
Operation Valkerie

Hydra!~

Hey folks!

I just replaced the song that sounds so jarring into a piece which is quite dear to me. It's Hydra by Toto!

Toto is more than just the brand of the urinal you notice when you pee, or another name for 4D. It's a famous band who's known for great musicianship, creating music that touches the soul with simplicity and touch. Tan Boon, if you're reading this, your influence and ideals has extended into this student of yours, and we believe in Toto!

I know some of you drummers are reading this with gaping mouths, just to let u know, I did a watered down version of it. I'm not that good la... haha!

I performed the solo part of the song for my graded exam a few years back, and listening to it makes me think of all the tough times I've been through during that period...

Practicing like mad,
Reading like mad,
Asking for help like mad,
and praying like mad.

I think, it was one of those seasons where I changed for the better. There was direction in my studies, outlook in life, and musicianship.

I think all musicians can agree that a healthy self-esteem is important. The tone and depth of your notes or hits can be felt more than just seen. Gotta be secure in what u know you can offer, and what you can't give.

To the technical musician, Tan Boon thought me a whole lot on groove, and to be honest, I haven't really understand what it means. But one thing about it is his demonstration of groove. There are so many depths to his playing, and the feels it creates.

More Pictures~

Hi folks! It's been quite a while since i posted something on. As you can see, I'm on the board of kar-kias of my boss. There's so many things he needs to do, and also so many people he can arrow to do it for him. As you can see, Islam is above me. To the phariseeical reader seeing this, what do you think about working for Islam? I need your holey wisdom.

In one of my meetings, one of the supervisors talked more than the person chairing the meeting. And so, along with the other guys i was about the switch off. He talked and talked...

And talked and talked....

And talked and talked somemore....

You can see how tightly i gripped my torch. I was about to shine some light already.

This is just one random shot that shows I like to play pool. If you like to play pool, please call me for a game or tag me.

So my cell members played a card game and we nearly tore the cards apart with our energy and violence. We had to shout Ugly Ugly before we grab the card. Doesn't matter.. it was a free for all brawl anyway.

My colleague is eating a cooked prawn that was kept in the fridge for 5 days. Still fresh as ever i guess, since she didn't had to rush to the toilet.

In America they got their own Brad Pitt, in Singapore we got our Bread Pitt!~

That's all the energy i have for now. We'll talk more philosophy next time i guess :)

Gabb

Pictures!~

Hey folks, here comes the pics! So many to choose from, but so many i can't post up. Let's start with a receipt:


So I managed to run like a bull, chin up like a monkey, jump like a frog and got an incentive for my IPPT. I used to jump further, but I just can't hit the 221cm mark. 5cm = $100 less. Anyway, no Remedial Training for the next 2 years! So to celebrate..

I went to indulge in carrot cake!

Working in a shipyard, "Ali-baba" means u did a crap job. Or slacking somewhere without permission. Here's a name of a shop that left me quite speechless.

I saw Jesus on sunday.

Me and my cell member went to JB for a time of fun and shopping and shooting paintballs. so we sat down for a drink, and look at the cup.

So my friend Joel came back from Aussie and we hung out at Mac's at Bukit Batok. It was so nice to see you again dude. So for old time sake before he flew off, we asked an ah tiong to do a past midnight shoot.

There was a manhood conference held on one of those friday nights. The hall was filled with none other than men. And to prove that they have the "ummph", we have a bunch of guys doing an insane number of push ups, sits ups and burpees. I may be all man, but I think I'll give that a pass.

Times are bad, and american express has resorted to selling locks to sit out the tough times?

The biggest rainbow I've seen so far. My camera has crap lenses, but it has managed to capture the rainbow in most of its glory.

Shufen, thanks for the chop! that has my chinese name on it. Coincidentally, i dreamt about using chops to sign my documents on that day itself!

More pics to come next time. Bed is calling.

Depths of Your Love~

Never thought I would be blogging again within the next 24 hours. I guess when u finished your dinner with an old friend in school, and u meet another friend who offers his password to access a computer, you get a new blog entry done in NTU.

Going back to university has always been exciting. I can't explain why. It always feels like I'm at liberty to do anything I want and get away with any naughty thing I do. But more than that, I think I conquered many issues and become the better person I am in uni. Its abit like parading in your former youth and remembering your victories. In the way I think, and in the way I treat people.. I would do it again once more if I have the chance, but with monthly salary =)

Recently my friend reminded me about something called "depths of a love". There wasn't much of a concept to it apart from a mere mention, but it got me thinking alittle bit. To the extent we love someone or something, you find yourself changing in bits and ways to keep the love burning.

The more you invest your life in it, it's only natural to develop a greater affection. It could be our job, our pet project, our love life, and even ourselves. You can never love yourself lesser than others and other things. Self-love and self-appreciation is where your self-esteem and convictions are rooted upon.

If we can't accept ourselves for who we are, then nobody will accept us for who we try to be.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In my former days as a NJC student, I was the very person I knew I wasn't. Struggling with self-esteem was the bigger issue than handling my A levels. If i only knew who I was and who loved me above all else, I would be spared the great depression that wrapped my soul and eaten part of my youth.

So for the educator who is reading this or those who have direct influence to troubled folks, let them know you care. Don't bootlick him, but let him know you'll be there when he screws up. Tell her you will be looking out for her and remembering her in prayer. Help him find the warrior within him that he has been waiting for. Show her a path that many wouldn't take and walk it down with her. You will not be remembered for the many things you said, but for the legacy that would be ingrained in them via their victories or self image.

And so there was this one man that did just that, and 23000 people saw their lives changed radically, and created a revolution of love and sacrifice onto others.

I am the chess player I am today because of a kind word by a senior in my sec school days. I am the drummer I am today because of a great teacher that believe I could be and will be. I am a university graduate today because of my parent's love. I am a loyal person today because of the friends that stood by me. I am the Gabriel today because of a Man that showed me who I loved to be.

If words could frame your world, frame the lives of others for those who have no strength to even pick their frames up.

~Gabb~

Thank You!~

Hey peeps, just a shout out to all those who celebrated my birthday on monday. Thank you so much. I was truly truly touched. The bag was just awesome. You made a bangala supervisor feel like a shenton way executive.

To my Team 16, you know who you are. You turned up and made a difference that day. I was just expecting one instead of so many. The gifts have been generous but i'm even more happy about the spirit behind it. Ben, my primary school friend, thanks for the angpao. =)

I sound emotional, but I believe that's who I am. I'm a sentimental wuss. To my future wife (that i've yet to find), I'll make you feel like the most fortunate girl in the world.

There are thoughts I wanna blog down, but it's getting a little too late and I've gotta work tomorrow. I remembered this song called "Depths of your love". It's a simple song but yet deeply profound in its meaning. Maybe I'll write that next time.

Till we meet again, my bed's calling my name. It's time to surrender all.

~Gabb~

Philosophy and rubbish~

Hey folks, it's been sometime since I wrote something that made sense to you all. I just got home and have some time to blog some of my precious thoughts. And by demand, I will put some pictures for ur interpretations. Next time I will use a chalk to illustrate what happens in my work.. haha! Next blog entry!

It's been a season where I'm stretched in my physical and mental capacity. I've been climbing alot of ladders and scaffolds, and one might say that it's really tiring. As much as I like to climb and crawl and get dirty, it's another thing to keep watching over your back and making sure that you do not get into the line of danger. There's always an Ah-Neh near you that's grinding steel or welding joints.

To all you Ah-Nehs and Bayas, as much as I have to be firm with you all, I have a tremendous respect for your capacity to do what you all do. You are willing to risk your health and sacrifice to provide for your families back in India. I guess the road to Singapore has been a rough one for most of you all, and I really hope you all go home in one piece. FOLLOW THE SAFETY RULES PLEASE.

Going into confined spaces is fine with me, I dun really mind the heat and sweat. Today, my superintendent and the bangala band entered a tank which is very small. About 1/10 the size of a bus. It's hot, sweaty, very bright, and very noisy with all the grinding noises. To make it worse, there was a small quarrel inside on whose job is whose. When I got out of the tank, it was as if i came out from a shower. The only thing is that it was just totally the opposite.

Being out from NS hating this kinda of life, I wondered how I could bear with such a job at times. I believe our sense of responsibility over our job, life, and the lives of others, compounds us to do the very thing that demands sacrifice. And responsibility has to count for something in changing us from students to future leaders, and mature parents.

Assuming responsibility in a task puts us in a position of influence. It is a silent scream that broadcasts to this world of the backbone we have, and what we can give to others even when its inconvenient. Responsibility makes us the loving husbands we are, and capable parents we can be. Responsibility provokes the brave to stand in the gap for others when he sees injustice and suffering. Responsibility is a committment to love, cherish and honour. Responsbility recounciles and restores.

When I was young, my mum would use to tell me of how bad my working life would be without a good education. I would be working under the sun, and sweating like mad. She would always encourage me to study hard so I would be none of that. Its an irony that even with a degree in Materials Engineering, I find myself doing the very things my mum said it wouldn't happen. I find it very amusing sometimes. Despite the imperfections of our parents, they are always there to support us and give us the best life, and show us the way to lead the best life ourselves..

Just some thoughts for you to chew on. I leave you with a song from the Jerry Maguire soundtrack. Very touching song, with a very touching dialogue. All it takes is 4 chords to give you that lovely dovey feeling. That's the power of music, there's no escaping it when it touches your heart.

Ok, enough philosophy. I should embark on writing a thesis for a PhD. For all you PhD students, I still think you all are crazy, and you all make better bloggers than me.

Oh yeah, pictures another time la! Maybe a few...


This is the CNY Dialect band from City Harvest! As you can see, we are really just a bunch of happy people serving God with our time and talents. The plastic smiles are priceless.



Collin just started a new company and he started his humble advertising beginnings by putting a cardboard box just outside his house. You're the man. Be thankful that a dog didn't peed on it. Put it somewhere else la!

Ok folks, till we meet again, which is soon i promise.
Tag the board and show some love man! =)

A thought

Again, I'm at the point where I'm tempted to give up
Lead the easy peasy life
Where I can do things at my pace
And breathe easier

For everything good in my life
I had to fight tooth and nail for it
God, You really know how to handle me
Its like you knew all the weaknesses I have

Beat your plowshares into swords
Its time to elect a hero
Show me a vision that I may follow it till my dying day
I trust that you will not lead me to nothingness

I am what the world can never take away
I am also what the world can never give another
I am here to fulfill a perfect plan
And I won't quit till I get it

The mighty man~

There's a part of me that wants to throw it all away
Cause it gets to me very hard
But there's a part of me that sees light at the end of the tunnel
And I know the sun will shine one day

So tell me God, what are u doing in my life?
What's ur latest plan that's putting my pants on fire?
Why do I feel like I'm on the edge, and yet strong enough to fight my foes with it
Giving me enough energy to make me realise sometimes I can't make it on my own

When people look for better solutions, God looks for better men
When all else fails, my vision is all i have
When all else fails, faith is all i got
When all else fails, strength is what i need
God, may you find the mighty man in me

For all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right~

There's two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven, and she’s daddy’s little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night,
She talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life,
Oh, but most of all...

Butterfly kisses, after bedtime prayer.
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony, daddy, it’s my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I should try it."
Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right.
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.
__________

Sweet sixteen today.
She’s looking like her momma a little more every day.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember...

Butterfly kisses, after bedtime prayer.
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don’t mind,"
"I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.
___________________

All the precious time... like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly... spread your wings and fly.
___________________

She’ll change her name today.
She’ll make a promise, and I’ll give her away.
Standing in the bride room, just staring at her.
She asked me what I’m thinking, and I said, "I’m not sure."
"I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl."
Then she leaned over... and gave me...

Butterfly kisses, with her mama there.
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it’s just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?"
"Daddy, don’t cry."
With all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right.
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses.
I couldn’t ask God for more, and this is what love is.
I know I’ve gotta let her go, but I’ll always... remember...
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses...

Disco and dance~

Oh yeah! I designate this week as "retro week" man, just some crazy idea i got. So for all you retro mamas and papas out there, this is "Never can say Goodbye" by the Communards. Those were the days when ur head is full of booze and estacy was your best friend ya?

For the bible school students who are reading this blog, I'll probably put the song "The Great Commandment" one day. Hahaha!~

Works been pretty cool, there's so much to learn everyday man. One thing about my yard though, it's a safe haven for rats man. I wonder what kind of food they can find in such a harsh environment. I see a rat running across the road every min in the morning, and i'm not kidding you. Father mother son, u name it, they have it.

I'll be with the safety department for the next 2 weeks, and so far it's been really easy and to a certain extent boring. Pioneer yard, which is my yard, has over 10 over rigs to commission. The Main Yard only has 1 rig, and it's gonna be sent off in a week. What kind of safety issues can u see in a yard which has nothing much?

Maybe i can recommend a zebra crossing for rats so they can cross safely.

Friends and the bangala band~

I write this at the risk of sounding gay.

But who cares, I'll say it anyway =)

There are a few friends that I'll really hold dear in my life, and those are the ones I'll probably find the hardest to let go under all situations. I'm just thinking back on my sec school days and reflecting back on the people who stood by me all these years, through all the crap and through the rain they were still there watching my back. Such people are rare, and I'm gonna salute them today.

Joel, I really really really miss you man. I was just looking back on your wedding pics and how it all pass so fast. Come back from Sydney soon, and I hope u'll be a daddy soon with ur dearest Jasmine! Haha!

Whye Heng, behind the cynicism lies a man of great integrity and faithfulness. You deserve my respect and my tremendous friendship. =)

Jack, what can I say? You are one heck of a caring brother in dark and bright times. I'm glad to be there for you too =)

Weiliang, my brother in good and bad times, thanks for the friendship and ur care. You are really one of a kind. Get a gf soon la, your queue's getting too long.

Jessel, i like ur style. You're a man of backbone. You fight like only u can for friends!~

Sebastian, you're a kind and sincere ah beng. You vouched for me just as I vouched for you in some difficult times.

To Amanda, to the one and only female buddy, I'll be finding a guy for u! hahaha!!

Shufen, my ex-cell member, u really know how to dig into people's lives and put ur interest in them. Thanks for putting ur interest in mine.

There are many more that i can't recall at this moment... mind's shutting down at 12am. To the reader, dun play punk ah. This is not some gay blog ok? Thanks

Pics!~

Hi folks, as u can see, a thousand words paints a picture, so i can't be bothered with too much words. Here.. we are practicing the energy saving policies which many companies will endorse anyway, to save electricity and cut down on manpower.

This is the kind of exams workers do. Tag my tagboard if u know what it is!


Sebas, you are a nerd. I'm glad u graduated!~ So throw them away!~ Or give them to Collin!~


Oh yeah, I ran the marathon, so i'm at the 37km mark. Shiong sia. Legs like full of fibre can't move.

Random pics for your random thoughts. Till we meet again.

A word so strong,
it cut into the very being,
a heart that went into a million pieces,
And a mind that was bleeding.

I am the light of the city,
a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden,
as the light is dim,
who would be able to see it?

Would a light be so dim,
and the one looking for a sign could not receive,
Down and he was distraught,
i wish i was there to shine forth and guide him back.

Why would God choose me,
a person who never looked beyond what's before him,
and brought him to a place of tremendous responsibility,
and trust in him just as he trusted the father

Every beat that was played,
it wasn't just a memorial to the dead,
but a statement to the living,
and a salvation ticket to the lost

Every beat that was played,
Was more than myself and my dignity,
It was a deep call to the poor,
And a weapon against the evil one

Every beat that was played,
let it not be one in vain,
but one of a sacrifice and the best one can give,
that it might do justice to the hurting and grieved

Let this poem be a memorial before you,
a heart that is wholely set onto you.
A poem made from the faith,
to go against the thoughts of fear

Happy birthday!~

I think it's the time where I will ramble and u will just look and wonder what I'm typing.

So many things going through my head, I dunno where to start. Why not with you?

Ok... apart from the lameness, I've been examing what the bible really meant by loving people. Is it just an affectionate pat on the back like how Jessel does it on Merv?

I got a whole lot of theory on it, but I think I will just keep it to myself for now. My mind's flat out like a drunken lizard.

To Mervyn, Happy Birthday to you today man. U're finally a yr older! And may u find the sweet girl soon.

A thought~

Sometimes I wonder,
If the feeling I felt was ever right,
Can feelings betray a friendship?
Can a brother kill someone with just emotions?

Dreams and Chips~

My first saturday at work. And onto doing welding again. Scary at first, but like first steps to walking, u wish u could run one day. And that was what i felt doing it. Polash was a bangala that helped me with it. Barely one year into his job, he did pretty awesome on his welding skills.

I'm not sure about it, but i think there was this one time many years back I dreamt I was working in a construction yard. And today, it just occured to me that I've been in the exact spot somewhere before, some rendezvous. I woke up not knowing if it was a dream or a nightmare. Hahaha. What do you think?

The place is a little bit military style, where people call you sir or boss. Kinda weird at first. To me, it's more about getting my job done and you getting your job done, and both going home happy. Isn't it like this for all jobs? Ideally?

Watched the Suzy Orman show, and there was this segment called "can I afford it". People would call her up on the talkshow and ask whether they could buy stuff, like kids going to their mamas asking for a lollipop. I was shocked when people asked if they could afford to pay off loans to service another loan using credit cards, and one even asked if they could buy a ticket to the casino playoffs which costs $10K!~

To all the gamblers or gambling wannabes who happen to trip over this blog, I respect your opinions and decisions to put your money on the edge and win it all with one shot in a casino. But hey, in the casino.. the dealers have hands that are faster and nimbler than those of David Blaine. Who are we kidding... would any casino hire me who can barely shuffle cards? Have you considered the odds against you in your hand compared to theirs? =)

All in all, though she's probably making a hell lot of money hosting talk shows, I sense the morality of the talkshow host who would put herself in a position where she could easily advise people on shares, stocks and bonds, and help her felllow americans out who are actually struggling on trivial issues.

Suzy, I may not agree on how you represented yourself, but you sure are impacting lay people one household at a time.

From student to welder~

As you can see.. the job of the welder is pretty glamourous. All the bright lights in your face is as close to heaven as u can get. Actually not really la.

I hand my first hands on with an electrode and I did my first welding on a piece of metal block. It was much more difficult than I thought. You gotta put a black UV shield to prevent your eyes from arc eye, a condition where u get temporary blindness. My senior superintendent had that many times. Kinda scary at first thought.

So I was like a kid playing with adult toys. It was pretty fun and neat. Just that the fumes a bit toxic la. To all the bangalas who happen to read this blog, I want you to know that I respect you tremendously and for all the hard work u put in. Leaving your family and wives behind is something many wouldn't do.

So apart from that, I gotta know the foreman and chargehands well. They all have like 25 over years of experience on average la! So getting their respect and trust from the worker to the manager is something that I gotta learn over time.

Alrighty, I'm going to church for dialect practice. If u need to permamently seal up your furniture or something with some hot stuff, you know who you can call la...

Better not be me.

Oil rigs and Superintendents~

Hey folks.. My first week at the shipyard has started!~ And for that, here's a totally random picture of my CNY dinner with Benedict and Collin John. It was awesome =)

It's an absolute mindblower.. for the past few days that have passed like a sneeze. But one concern is that walking around a shipyad is like walking around a landmine. You gotta keep ur head up and look out for yourself with every single step.

I don't really know much abt my direct boss, but from the looks of it, he's looks like one heck of a cool dude. Easy to relate to with no airs, he made me feel so at home with my singlish. And talk quite a bit of stuff that got me thinking.

My colleagues... man, i think it's one whole generation of welding superintendents that never quit their job for like 35 over years. I got to know my mentor... 37 yrs! But the record has to go to this chargehand (aka welding sergeant?) who worked there for 39 yrs! What do they see in this section that they wanna glue their entire lives in this environment? Wha lau, I can be their son liao lar. So working with lao jiaos (aka old birds), make sure u know where u stand as a trainee and a young man.

I really wanna know why they stayed so long, and i think i got a bit of a clue. But that's for u to call me and find out. hahah!!


I'm just pretty much happy to learn all the new stuff going around the yard, like a new kid getting his toys in christmas. Oh yeah man, those toys are worth $200 million each. So I just got one simple piece of advice before i rest my limp body..


When u buy an oil rig, make sure you know how to use it.

Double degrees, or double bananas?

I went back to NTU on wednesday to settle some admin with my friend. It was a long trip, but one that I secretly wished for some time. I guess I still like to study, despite all the exams and stresses that come along the way. It's a comfort zone of 16 years, and I'm finally out of it.

And as I recounted my old days back in school, I think there are many loose ends to tie up, but never managed to.

What if I went on an exchange in Sweden?
What if I took on more CCAs? How would it change my perspective on things?
What if I stayed in hall? What kinda friends would I have right now?
What if I was kinder to the people who were indifferent?

I don't regret all that I have not done, but some of these questions will just remain to be just questions. Would you be curious?

Curiousity has nearly killed the cat. To all you university hunks and babes, don't live your university life with too many "what if"s. Or worst still.. with even more "what the hell.."s.

Had a conversation with a good friend recently, and there were also questions on his mind.

What if I wasn't too busy with schoolwork to notice the hot girls in school?
I had that question too. And so did you =)

___________________________

A shoutout to Weiliang, I come to NTU and u're not there... wha lau ehhh.
To Cicil, nice lunch man. Great company quenches lousy food.
Shufen, hope you get your masters soon. And let this day mark the beginning of your long trips to the journey to the west.

My appreciations and gratitudes

I'm just thinking back, 7 days from CNY.. I will be on my first job as a welding engineer. I'm so grateful for such a wonderful opportunity to work in one of the busiest companies in the offshore industry. It'll be a outdoor work kinda stuff, supervising and planning and making sure no cock ups happen before we knock off. My first job after months and months of restless searching and lazing at home. It's time to go out and get rough n' tough.

To Lester Phong, if you're reading this, you're in for a great treat. If it weren't for u, there wouldn't be this. To my lab mate whom I work with illegally till the wee hours of the morning, here's a tribute to you and many more =)

Just to recap, he was the one who forward my name to the commissioning department, and i got a reply just the day after for an interview. Despite my weird engineering background (materials engineering is still very unheard of), the interviewers were very soft on me and there was no issue on my Degree. The second and third interviews followed, and I found myself with a job as a commissioning engineer by the end of november. However, something interesting happened in the third interview..

It was an interview with none other than the second man of The Company himself, Mr Wong Kok Seng. I could remember his name so clearly because my name is Wong Kwan Seng. He was an operations director, and after reviewing my profile, He thought I was more suited to be a welding engineer. I was like.. this is so materials science, I would love it man! And I told him "I would also be open to your suggestion.." And I never expect to land a position in that field which is also dream job I would look for, and even better, to put what i learn in school to good use.

I've passed the medical 3 weeks ago, and i'm in the clean bill of health for the job. Thank God for my still perfect eyesight, and incredibly, perfect hearing after so much abuse from Walkman and drumming.

To the nurse who attended to me that day, thank you for not jabbing my already swollen arm for any blood tests.

Hey to all u guys who are reading this blog.. wanna give a shout out to my peeps and wish them a happy new year!

Jessel, Sebastian, Soo Huei, John, Benedict, Collin and all the other drummers I didn't mention, appreciate your friendship man. Looking forward to working more with you all next time.

My cell group N430, you guys are the best. Yubing, Angeline, Jinlian and GJ, weiliang, better than all the rest! whahaha.

Lilian, Sze Yin, Adam, my NTU peeps. We all got a job as our big angpow sia =)

Joel, Whye Heng, my brothers from different mothers, you all made my past 10 years smell like a nice breeze. Thanks!

A thought

Sometimes when u get presented with a truth,
it is really the best defence against a lie,
or even worse to live the lie out,
And u end up kicking urself in the butt.

The saddest thing to know is that at the end of the day,
when u have done this and got ur medals shiny for a parade,
it really doesn't matter if you're up the wrong tree,
but would you dare to lose your leverage and take on the cloth of humiliation?

Would you tolerate 50 years of boredom?
And give that up for a most important hour of your life?
If everything you did in your life you thought was crap,
Would you smoke some weed, or give your life a final run for its money?

When you are hoping against the fierest of odds,
know that someone has worn ur shoe of faith,
that he has fought well and hard for what's worth in his life,
And know that you have everything in ur hands to do the same.

There are things I believe and know to be true,
is no longer true anymore,
If life could only be expressed in simplicity,
But that's why people have blogs to tell u how impossible it really is.

The heavy heart,
The burdened mind,
A restless soul,
A light that needs to shine

Why does it ache,
Why does it screams for justice,
I know this isn't fake,
On this poem that I thought i never make.

Come away with me,
And i will show you more,
What it really means,
to be gutted back and forth

What the mouth couldn't speak,
The heart gives a silent scream,
Tell myself not to be weak,
That I will not walk with a limb.

The hour is here,
And i can smell my victory's beer,
I will stand and fight,
With every ounce of my might.

Bring my enemies on,
and I will walk over their heads,
Thank you God for giving me my form,
And in you I will give my all.

I've been thinking quite a bit recently, or rather, I'm very much of a thinker la. And it brought me back to where my roots really lie, my self-esteem.

Sometimes I do wonder if my natural tendency to quietness really stems from all the crap of primary school bullying. As far as I remember in my youth, I am quite a vocal kid. The biggest problem was probably me irritating people. =) And that got me into alot of trouble. I got put into a cell (yeah, they did that in kindergarden), caned, tied up, blah and blah. From sec 3, i never really found the urge to dig out the outspokenness that was once found in my childhood.

Who am I, really?
What am I truly capable of?
What do I have that others don't?
Am I really accepting of myself, or am I tolerating myself?
Do I always look jaded, and why so?

These are questions that probably probe u guys from time to time. I'm not sure if I have answers to all I just asked about myself.

Life is a journey where u would always realise things about urself u never knew. When would we truly arrive at this point where I can say, I've arrived?

When would I come to the point where my mistakes are so insignificant, that it doesn't prevent me from reaching what I'm called to do in this thing called "destiny"?

Give me some answers, and I'll give u a penny for ur thoughts..

I just went to the library today, after graduating from school for almost like 5 months? I went through the shelves to find some books on welding, and when i got down comfy on a chair, I did wat I always do before reading, SLEEP.

So i woke up to a blurry eye and starting reading what my future works gonna be all about. It hasn't really sunk in yet, this whole job thing. But i'm looking forward to it like it's my new day in school!~

Nothing much to rant about, I'm as happy as a goose for now. I gotta get down and dirty on getting some yearly resolutions right. My planning's just halfway man. Someone help me plan my itinerary for this yr and I will pay ya. Sure helps when people do ur work for ya. =)

Alright, come back in a while. I will learn to add pictures to my blog next time. =)

Gabb

Hey people, as u can see, i have been super on off about blogging... with entries 1 to 2 yrs apart. Excuse me for it ah. Hahaha.

I guess I will start writing all those poems that i have in my heart one day. It's more of an expression of the many things that goes on in my life, in a non-narrative mode. And for those who have been looking out for me, I really wanna thank you here and when I do see you, I'll make sure u know who u are. =)

2009 is here, and in a way i'm thankful for 2008 that has passed me like a sneeze. There are so many pains in that short one year, as well as joy that will become throphies in my life. Finishing my degree, my SOT graduation, and getting a job in the darkness of economic times. And there were those late nights where i could blown up my lab because I didn't wanna take it anymore, and the days of helplessness accompanying joblessness.

Been feeling abit nostalgic listening to an old song that i've grown up with. The rainbow connection by Kermit. Feels so good to hear it all over again. Adam thanks for that song post.
I guess I'm still quite contented with old stuff. I'm a wuss for sentimentalism. Take away my PSP or computer for my ninja turtles.

So random are my posts, but only because i'm catching up for months of hiatus. I will try my best not to be on hiatus too long. Stay tuned!