Friends and the bangala band~

I write this at the risk of sounding gay.

But who cares, I'll say it anyway =)

There are a few friends that I'll really hold dear in my life, and those are the ones I'll probably find the hardest to let go under all situations. I'm just thinking back on my sec school days and reflecting back on the people who stood by me all these years, through all the crap and through the rain they were still there watching my back. Such people are rare, and I'm gonna salute them today.

Joel, I really really really miss you man. I was just looking back on your wedding pics and how it all pass so fast. Come back from Sydney soon, and I hope u'll be a daddy soon with ur dearest Jasmine! Haha!

Whye Heng, behind the cynicism lies a man of great integrity and faithfulness. You deserve my respect and my tremendous friendship. =)

Jack, what can I say? You are one heck of a caring brother in dark and bright times. I'm glad to be there for you too =)

Weiliang, my brother in good and bad times, thanks for the friendship and ur care. You are really one of a kind. Get a gf soon la, your queue's getting too long.

Jessel, i like ur style. You're a man of backbone. You fight like only u can for friends!~

Sebastian, you're a kind and sincere ah beng. You vouched for me just as I vouched for you in some difficult times.

To Amanda, to the one and only female buddy, I'll be finding a guy for u! hahaha!!

Shufen, my ex-cell member, u really know how to dig into people's lives and put ur interest in them. Thanks for putting ur interest in mine.

There are many more that i can't recall at this moment... mind's shutting down at 12am. To the reader, dun play punk ah. This is not some gay blog ok? Thanks

Pics!~

Hi folks, as u can see, a thousand words paints a picture, so i can't be bothered with too much words. Here.. we are practicing the energy saving policies which many companies will endorse anyway, to save electricity and cut down on manpower.

This is the kind of exams workers do. Tag my tagboard if u know what it is!


Sebas, you are a nerd. I'm glad u graduated!~ So throw them away!~ Or give them to Collin!~


Oh yeah, I ran the marathon, so i'm at the 37km mark. Shiong sia. Legs like full of fibre can't move.

Random pics for your random thoughts. Till we meet again.

A word so strong,
it cut into the very being,
a heart that went into a million pieces,
And a mind that was bleeding.

I am the light of the city,
a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden,
as the light is dim,
who would be able to see it?

Would a light be so dim,
and the one looking for a sign could not receive,
Down and he was distraught,
i wish i was there to shine forth and guide him back.

Why would God choose me,
a person who never looked beyond what's before him,
and brought him to a place of tremendous responsibility,
and trust in him just as he trusted the father

Every beat that was played,
it wasn't just a memorial to the dead,
but a statement to the living,
and a salvation ticket to the lost

Every beat that was played,
Was more than myself and my dignity,
It was a deep call to the poor,
And a weapon against the evil one

Every beat that was played,
let it not be one in vain,
but one of a sacrifice and the best one can give,
that it might do justice to the hurting and grieved

Let this poem be a memorial before you,
a heart that is wholely set onto you.
A poem made from the faith,
to go against the thoughts of fear

Happy birthday!~

I think it's the time where I will ramble and u will just look and wonder what I'm typing.

So many things going through my head, I dunno where to start. Why not with you?

Ok... apart from the lameness, I've been examing what the bible really meant by loving people. Is it just an affectionate pat on the back like how Jessel does it on Merv?

I got a whole lot of theory on it, but I think I will just keep it to myself for now. My mind's flat out like a drunken lizard.

To Mervyn, Happy Birthday to you today man. U're finally a yr older! And may u find the sweet girl soon.

A thought~

Sometimes I wonder,
If the feeling I felt was ever right,
Can feelings betray a friendship?
Can a brother kill someone with just emotions?

Dreams and Chips~

My first saturday at work. And onto doing welding again. Scary at first, but like first steps to walking, u wish u could run one day. And that was what i felt doing it. Polash was a bangala that helped me with it. Barely one year into his job, he did pretty awesome on his welding skills.

I'm not sure about it, but i think there was this one time many years back I dreamt I was working in a construction yard. And today, it just occured to me that I've been in the exact spot somewhere before, some rendezvous. I woke up not knowing if it was a dream or a nightmare. Hahaha. What do you think?

The place is a little bit military style, where people call you sir or boss. Kinda weird at first. To me, it's more about getting my job done and you getting your job done, and both going home happy. Isn't it like this for all jobs? Ideally?

Watched the Suzy Orman show, and there was this segment called "can I afford it". People would call her up on the talkshow and ask whether they could buy stuff, like kids going to their mamas asking for a lollipop. I was shocked when people asked if they could afford to pay off loans to service another loan using credit cards, and one even asked if they could buy a ticket to the casino playoffs which costs $10K!~

To all the gamblers or gambling wannabes who happen to trip over this blog, I respect your opinions and decisions to put your money on the edge and win it all with one shot in a casino. But hey, in the casino.. the dealers have hands that are faster and nimbler than those of David Blaine. Who are we kidding... would any casino hire me who can barely shuffle cards? Have you considered the odds against you in your hand compared to theirs? =)

All in all, though she's probably making a hell lot of money hosting talk shows, I sense the morality of the talkshow host who would put herself in a position where she could easily advise people on shares, stocks and bonds, and help her felllow americans out who are actually struggling on trivial issues.

Suzy, I may not agree on how you represented yourself, but you sure are impacting lay people one household at a time.

From student to welder~

As you can see.. the job of the welder is pretty glamourous. All the bright lights in your face is as close to heaven as u can get. Actually not really la.

I hand my first hands on with an electrode and I did my first welding on a piece of metal block. It was much more difficult than I thought. You gotta put a black UV shield to prevent your eyes from arc eye, a condition where u get temporary blindness. My senior superintendent had that many times. Kinda scary at first thought.

So I was like a kid playing with adult toys. It was pretty fun and neat. Just that the fumes a bit toxic la. To all the bangalas who happen to read this blog, I want you to know that I respect you tremendously and for all the hard work u put in. Leaving your family and wives behind is something many wouldn't do.

So apart from that, I gotta know the foreman and chargehands well. They all have like 25 over years of experience on average la! So getting their respect and trust from the worker to the manager is something that I gotta learn over time.

Alrighty, I'm going to church for dialect practice. If u need to permamently seal up your furniture or something with some hot stuff, you know who you can call la...

Better not be me.

Oil rigs and Superintendents~

Hey folks.. My first week at the shipyard has started!~ And for that, here's a totally random picture of my CNY dinner with Benedict and Collin John. It was awesome =)

It's an absolute mindblower.. for the past few days that have passed like a sneeze. But one concern is that walking around a shipyad is like walking around a landmine. You gotta keep ur head up and look out for yourself with every single step.

I don't really know much abt my direct boss, but from the looks of it, he's looks like one heck of a cool dude. Easy to relate to with no airs, he made me feel so at home with my singlish. And talk quite a bit of stuff that got me thinking.

My colleagues... man, i think it's one whole generation of welding superintendents that never quit their job for like 35 over years. I got to know my mentor... 37 yrs! But the record has to go to this chargehand (aka welding sergeant?) who worked there for 39 yrs! What do they see in this section that they wanna glue their entire lives in this environment? Wha lau, I can be their son liao lar. So working with lao jiaos (aka old birds), make sure u know where u stand as a trainee and a young man.

I really wanna know why they stayed so long, and i think i got a bit of a clue. But that's for u to call me and find out. hahah!!


I'm just pretty much happy to learn all the new stuff going around the yard, like a new kid getting his toys in christmas. Oh yeah man, those toys are worth $200 million each. So I just got one simple piece of advice before i rest my limp body..


When u buy an oil rig, make sure you know how to use it.

Double degrees, or double bananas?

I went back to NTU on wednesday to settle some admin with my friend. It was a long trip, but one that I secretly wished for some time. I guess I still like to study, despite all the exams and stresses that come along the way. It's a comfort zone of 16 years, and I'm finally out of it.

And as I recounted my old days back in school, I think there are many loose ends to tie up, but never managed to.

What if I went on an exchange in Sweden?
What if I took on more CCAs? How would it change my perspective on things?
What if I stayed in hall? What kinda friends would I have right now?
What if I was kinder to the people who were indifferent?

I don't regret all that I have not done, but some of these questions will just remain to be just questions. Would you be curious?

Curiousity has nearly killed the cat. To all you university hunks and babes, don't live your university life with too many "what if"s. Or worst still.. with even more "what the hell.."s.

Had a conversation with a good friend recently, and there were also questions on his mind.

What if I wasn't too busy with schoolwork to notice the hot girls in school?
I had that question too. And so did you =)

___________________________

A shoutout to Weiliang, I come to NTU and u're not there... wha lau ehhh.
To Cicil, nice lunch man. Great company quenches lousy food.
Shufen, hope you get your masters soon. And let this day mark the beginning of your long trips to the journey to the west.

My appreciations and gratitudes

I'm just thinking back, 7 days from CNY.. I will be on my first job as a welding engineer. I'm so grateful for such a wonderful opportunity to work in one of the busiest companies in the offshore industry. It'll be a outdoor work kinda stuff, supervising and planning and making sure no cock ups happen before we knock off. My first job after months and months of restless searching and lazing at home. It's time to go out and get rough n' tough.

To Lester Phong, if you're reading this, you're in for a great treat. If it weren't for u, there wouldn't be this. To my lab mate whom I work with illegally till the wee hours of the morning, here's a tribute to you and many more =)

Just to recap, he was the one who forward my name to the commissioning department, and i got a reply just the day after for an interview. Despite my weird engineering background (materials engineering is still very unheard of), the interviewers were very soft on me and there was no issue on my Degree. The second and third interviews followed, and I found myself with a job as a commissioning engineer by the end of november. However, something interesting happened in the third interview..

It was an interview with none other than the second man of The Company himself, Mr Wong Kok Seng. I could remember his name so clearly because my name is Wong Kwan Seng. He was an operations director, and after reviewing my profile, He thought I was more suited to be a welding engineer. I was like.. this is so materials science, I would love it man! And I told him "I would also be open to your suggestion.." And I never expect to land a position in that field which is also dream job I would look for, and even better, to put what i learn in school to good use.

I've passed the medical 3 weeks ago, and i'm in the clean bill of health for the job. Thank God for my still perfect eyesight, and incredibly, perfect hearing after so much abuse from Walkman and drumming.

To the nurse who attended to me that day, thank you for not jabbing my already swollen arm for any blood tests.

Hey to all u guys who are reading this blog.. wanna give a shout out to my peeps and wish them a happy new year!

Jessel, Sebastian, Soo Huei, John, Benedict, Collin and all the other drummers I didn't mention, appreciate your friendship man. Looking forward to working more with you all next time.

My cell group N430, you guys are the best. Yubing, Angeline, Jinlian and GJ, weiliang, better than all the rest! whahaha.

Lilian, Sze Yin, Adam, my NTU peeps. We all got a job as our big angpow sia =)

Joel, Whye Heng, my brothers from different mothers, you all made my past 10 years smell like a nice breeze. Thanks!

A thought

Sometimes when u get presented with a truth,
it is really the best defence against a lie,
or even worse to live the lie out,
And u end up kicking urself in the butt.

The saddest thing to know is that at the end of the day,
when u have done this and got ur medals shiny for a parade,
it really doesn't matter if you're up the wrong tree,
but would you dare to lose your leverage and take on the cloth of humiliation?

Would you tolerate 50 years of boredom?
And give that up for a most important hour of your life?
If everything you did in your life you thought was crap,
Would you smoke some weed, or give your life a final run for its money?

When you are hoping against the fierest of odds,
know that someone has worn ur shoe of faith,
that he has fought well and hard for what's worth in his life,
And know that you have everything in ur hands to do the same.

There are things I believe and know to be true,
is no longer true anymore,
If life could only be expressed in simplicity,
But that's why people have blogs to tell u how impossible it really is.

The heavy heart,
The burdened mind,
A restless soul,
A light that needs to shine

Why does it ache,
Why does it screams for justice,
I know this isn't fake,
On this poem that I thought i never make.

Come away with me,
And i will show you more,
What it really means,
to be gutted back and forth

What the mouth couldn't speak,
The heart gives a silent scream,
Tell myself not to be weak,
That I will not walk with a limb.

The hour is here,
And i can smell my victory's beer,
I will stand and fight,
With every ounce of my might.

Bring my enemies on,
and I will walk over their heads,
Thank you God for giving me my form,
And in you I will give my all.

I've been thinking quite a bit recently, or rather, I'm very much of a thinker la. And it brought me back to where my roots really lie, my self-esteem.

Sometimes I do wonder if my natural tendency to quietness really stems from all the crap of primary school bullying. As far as I remember in my youth, I am quite a vocal kid. The biggest problem was probably me irritating people. =) And that got me into alot of trouble. I got put into a cell (yeah, they did that in kindergarden), caned, tied up, blah and blah. From sec 3, i never really found the urge to dig out the outspokenness that was once found in my childhood.

Who am I, really?
What am I truly capable of?
What do I have that others don't?
Am I really accepting of myself, or am I tolerating myself?
Do I always look jaded, and why so?

These are questions that probably probe u guys from time to time. I'm not sure if I have answers to all I just asked about myself.

Life is a journey where u would always realise things about urself u never knew. When would we truly arrive at this point where I can say, I've arrived?

When would I come to the point where my mistakes are so insignificant, that it doesn't prevent me from reaching what I'm called to do in this thing called "destiny"?

Give me some answers, and I'll give u a penny for ur thoughts..

I just went to the library today, after graduating from school for almost like 5 months? I went through the shelves to find some books on welding, and when i got down comfy on a chair, I did wat I always do before reading, SLEEP.

So i woke up to a blurry eye and starting reading what my future works gonna be all about. It hasn't really sunk in yet, this whole job thing. But i'm looking forward to it like it's my new day in school!~

Nothing much to rant about, I'm as happy as a goose for now. I gotta get down and dirty on getting some yearly resolutions right. My planning's just halfway man. Someone help me plan my itinerary for this yr and I will pay ya. Sure helps when people do ur work for ya. =)

Alright, come back in a while. I will learn to add pictures to my blog next time. =)

Gabb

Hey people, as u can see, i have been super on off about blogging... with entries 1 to 2 yrs apart. Excuse me for it ah. Hahaha.

I guess I will start writing all those poems that i have in my heart one day. It's more of an expression of the many things that goes on in my life, in a non-narrative mode. And for those who have been looking out for me, I really wanna thank you here and when I do see you, I'll make sure u know who u are. =)

2009 is here, and in a way i'm thankful for 2008 that has passed me like a sneeze. There are so many pains in that short one year, as well as joy that will become throphies in my life. Finishing my degree, my SOT graduation, and getting a job in the darkness of economic times. And there were those late nights where i could blown up my lab because I didn't wanna take it anymore, and the days of helplessness accompanying joblessness.

Been feeling abit nostalgic listening to an old song that i've grown up with. The rainbow connection by Kermit. Feels so good to hear it all over again. Adam thanks for that song post.
I guess I'm still quite contented with old stuff. I'm a wuss for sentimentalism. Take away my PSP or computer for my ninja turtles.

So random are my posts, but only because i'm catching up for months of hiatus. I will try my best not to be on hiatus too long. Stay tuned!

Hi people!

It's been a long time since i returned to blogging. I have been trying to find my password and username for the longest time... and I finally remembered it! I'm so thankful that i get to claim this back.


So... I will start my ramblings...


Too many things, too little time on this blog. But I guess very recently, I'm reminded of the initial passion and love for the things that I do. Sometimes, the things that i worked for and dreamed about... yeah it came to pass, but then again, it can feel like a routine sometimes when I do it... its something which i have to guard.

What good a work can be without the passion and zeal filling it? It starts becoming a clanging cymbal or hollow sounds from the drumsets.

I need a greater capacity to love people, to love the unloved. To set the captives free.

I'm not trying to be a hero. But sometimes, I wish I could so people will know that life ain't so bad with that guy around after all.

The passion and zeal for what I have been fighting for, that fire must never go off... if not there's really not much a point in living.

It's a sunday morning.. I'm at KL now. University of Malaya. I miss the computer so much man. Until I chanced upon a terminal... whahaha.

The chess competition has been intense. I've lost millions of brain cells.... and so have my opponents. It's been a tough but enjoyable experience. To me, there's no better privilege I know than to represent NTU, and to wear that jacket to show you are one. We have been occupying the top boards, and I'm pretty thankful for that.

We have a bunch of interesting people here. There were snorts, sniggers, gruntings, and shaking of legs during the tournament. In fact half of us were jogging on the spot cause it was too cold man. So chess does improve your mental and physical capabilities. Some of them would just rub their shoes at the legs of the chair to give that squeaky noise. I chanced upon an opponent next to me, and he keep burping and sneezing and coughing and whatever you name it he has it. Man, it was gross. I had to stop him cause i couldn't concentrate on my opponent liao. And the guy who coughed his lungs out at the toilet every morning, I could hear it at my room. But the winner has to go to the indian guy who sang at the toilet at 1am in the morning. It was so eerie it scared the living daylights out of me. It was like a hybrid of whitney houston and linkin park hitting the high notes.

My nights... it's pretty awesome to have very few mozzies flyin' around. But the students play the Kompang way till 2am. And to a certain extent it drove me nuts... to hear the same thing night in and night out. To the drummers: I will teach you some stuff I heard for the past 4 nights.

But what really rocked was the shopping at KL.. it's amazing at the amount of stuff u can find at the malls. Within 2 days, I shopped for so much clothing... it'll probably last me till I become a dad(I think). For once, I understood the meaning of impulse buying. And why you just want to get that piece of clothing even though u have more than u can carry already. Shopping rocks at KL man.

I catch up with u guys again. Till next time.. I'm off to my room.

I just finished packing my room... Rummaging through all the old stuff and get em cleared before it starts piling up...

There was a sense of nostalgia as I packed them... hmm... the sentimental side of me kicked in for that 3 hrs... if i had a wish... i probably wish i could get paid for studying. Life's much easier I feel. In any case... my brain's all locked up with nothing to say... so i guess i'll come back another day.



Told you I'll blog real soon right?

To Lilian: I know you are reading this... ahahaha.

It's been pretty long since I last blogged.. So here's the lowdown of the things that happened

1---> Exams are not the nicest things to do.... It only feels really good when u know how to attempt the questions on the actual day. And to feel good you got to study hard. And that feels pretty dry.

The times i tried so hard in the library and got distracted by sniggers from my neighbours. Hot tea to keep myself awake.. Seeing the selfish side of humanity emerging. Coldness and indifference in the air of pressure. And of course, the beauty of real friendship blossoming during times of adversity. The whole package doesn't really rock, but I'm grateful to be called a student and do the things I do for the season.

I once told someone this, that you are appointed and chosen and selected for that particular table in that particular exam hall to do the exam, being called for excellence by none other than God Himself. You are the man for the moment to fulfill the mission for the hour. He didn't choose your pastor or your mama or papa to do it. So according to KC, it boils down to our perception of the things we value or see.

2 ---> I tried hard to balance the nerd side and the fun side... with more nerdy stuff?

Yeah... it's true... I play chess last time, and now! Check me out moving pieces over a board.
Believe it.

I would even go to KL for a competition for it. And it's coming in 7 days!

3 ---> Music music music.... Hire me and I will give you music that will get ur brain cells jumping. Breakthroughs in so many areas. I heading towards a more musical future, the upward call against the downward rage of society.



I can't remember anymore! So that means i gotta update more often to even remind myself..

Till next time, which should be very short, I'm outta here~! :)


~Gabriel~
I AM NOT A NERD,
I AM ONLY VERY NERDY.