It was a time of self reflection.

Did I hear him say correctly? Was it in the context that I was thinking?
It seems so. I confirmed it. I asked him. And I couldn't believe it initally. I even thought it was a joke.

It sounds too good to be true!

You mean... 3 months?
But how can it be? Since I'm still so green?

I really don't understand why. But it was so encouraging. It lifted my spirit up to another level entirely. My spirit exudes joy walking in that direction.

I will take the comment very seriously. I WILL run after what I've set out to do and accomplish, On what seemed to have been shelved for so many years, and now I see the golden gate.

I won't comment more. In due time, I think u will know :)

Today's a special day for me. In the midst of handling my disappointments, and recovering from it, I got a new appointment today.

I was to play for prayer meeting today at Jurong West!

My dreams, my hopes, all amounted to this opportunity I've been waiting for all my life.

An opportunity that can potential ignite an exciting journey, that's what it is!

And it's funny that it had to come at the most unexpected time.

I think that I'll never be the same after today. All the things I told you bro boon, it's running in my head like a video tape. It's amazing. I love it. I know I can make a difference today and knock the livin daylights out of some people.

For all you non-christian readers out there, hahaha. Paiseh, I din write much stuff u understood for the past few posts. Maybe if u would be in my shoes u would have yanked out ur hair =)

Goo Goo Dolls - Here Is Gone

You and I got something
But it's all and then it's nothing to me
Yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions for me
Yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown
Of the things we never thought we could be
Yeah

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I have no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me
Yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me
Yeah

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
What do you got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don't need the fallout of all the past
that's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

And I want to get free, talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

And I want to get free talk to me
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone

I just came back from service. And as I stood the on the terraces, alot of memories came flooding back. Memory of my 3 friends. Memories of the times we had together as such good friends. The times where we would help each other out on booking seats. The times where I got scolded for not doing things right. The times where I brought you to church. The time where you responded to the altar call.

It was so happy, I learnt so much. Now when I turn my head, I see a shell of a group that was once thriving in revival. Guys, I miss you so badly. Why did you all throw in the towel? You didn't need to do it. I want to help u. But I can't reach you. I can't see you.

I hope for the best for you. Really. When I pray I would think abt you, and the circumstances you are in. Why did you have to do it, when it wasn't right at all, and u got urself into so much where u haven't had to do it in the first place. Does feelings really matter so much that one is willing to lay it all just for a moment of instant gratification? Does feelings matter so much that you are willing to dump God for it? To the reader, dun think so much about sexual immorality, its not. But let me ask you this.

What is love, when it fails at the moment of gratification? It weakens to a mutant of lust if u continue to live in it.

I love you, but I want to have my ice-cream first.
I love you, but clubbing on friday nights is a must.
I love you, but too tired to go to expo la.
I love you, but you are too strict on me.
I love you, but I rather spend time with my studies.


Love.. I believe in love. It's the fabric of my heart. And I really love you guys.

And today, I received news that I'll be transferring out to another cell. I think he knows it has been particularly hard for me. Everytime I look at the cell, I really wanted to cry. That's how I feel.

This is dedicated to you 6 guys and gals. I will never name you.

You six people have been one of the best people I've met, and I hope we will meet again next time.

I really need some time off to rest. My soul grieves day and night the moment u guys pop into my head. I wish I could just give up sometimes..

But I won't. I will NEVER. I know my God. I could never turn away..

Why God
Why things have to happen the way it is?!
Why why why why why why why why why???!!!!!
I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
I can't take it anymore.

Why must things be so complicated?!
Why must you be so foolish?!
Why must you do it?!
You were on a roll, you were getting there!

Why must you follow?
Why did you leave me alone?
Why when I turn I wanted to see you but I can't?!

Tell me why.. I'm asking a question to all 3 of you.

WHY DID YOU TURN AWAY?

I'm so tired, it's 3.40am in the morning, but I can't sleep.

I'm grieving.

I received a sms. It was a goodbye message from some one. I can't believe it.

Why do people make decisions in life that alter the course of their destiny. I don't know, I don't want to care anymore.

The 4 of us went skating once together, before sending the fellow friend off. I have very fond memories of it. I never knew I would lose all 3 of them within 4 months.

How do u describe a man who has literally lost his dearest friends in his cell group.

When I look back, i constantly get reminded of it. God, it hurts so bad. I'm living in a different world altogether.

My fight has been ruthless.
The missiles just keeps coming and coming.
So many issues were thrown at me one after another.
It feels like I'm living in a different dimension.
This really is war. As much as I wanted it, it was as much as what the devil intended.
The moment I declared it, the devil handed mouthfuls of it.

I smell my breakthrough, it's gonna be awesome. But sometimes, you can't help but feel discouraged by the circumstances you are in.

God, if you are not standing in the gap, I would have been dead by now.
But I'm so thankful for great friends along the way.
Friends like Ben, Joanne, JingJing, you guys are people I cannot ask for more.

Luke, you're a brother like no other. I really mean it.

Allow me to type something personal...

I'm happy today. My war has started.
It was a war I have waited for a long time.
A war with a purpose of winning, and plundering the deepest depths of hell.

This is about a war on my calling in life. What I have always believe in is now undergoing a major test. I'm on the brink of something new. I can smell the aroma of victory from here.
But not without a tough fight.

It was a war to rediscover myself, to find out the deepest depths of how strong I can be, my limitations, and what I see in myself. I see a breakthrough in 8 weeks. I really do.

It's a time where I have made certain decisions in my life, life changing decisions. And immediately, war broke out. I expected this, and have been waiting for this. I'm gaining territory.

Because of a Jehovah Nissi, My banner of victory has been poised. Pray for me that I have the strength to run this.

DARE YOU TO MOVE - SWITCHFOOT

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone’s here
Everyone’s here
Everybody’s watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before